I (as most people it seems), have a bucket list consisting of things I really want to do before I move on to the next world. But is it really necessary?
I loathe lists. Lists are easy to make, but difficult to muddle thru, even with something as fun as a “honey, don’t forget to do these things before you die” list. For some people, making lists and following them are super easy and help people feel more organized. I look at a list and I get totally overwhelmed. But I digress.
Here’s a few of the things I want to accomplish before I die:
- Learn several languages
- Study theology
- Own my own home
- Travel (duh) world wide, to really unusual places, like the Poles, and see the sun rise there
- Really, truly fall head over heels in love and have it stick
- Find God
- Be published in National Geographic
- Take a cruise
- Do something really meaningful for myself, not really sure what that means yet
- Knit something
- Learn origami
- Find my courage
- Tell all of my family, just once more, that I do love them, and wish them well.
- Finish my cookbook
- Write my story
- Meditate in Nepal
- Climb Mt. Everest (yes, I really want to do this)
- Meet new people and make new friends
- Do something meaningful that will make a difference in the world
Obviously I could go on and on, but this is just this small snippet of what I want for my life.
Lists remind me a lot of my Fitbit. I have a love / hate relationship with this damn thing. I feel horribly lazy and angry if I don’t meet my step goal for the day. But when I think of that step number, I try to tell myself it’s a very attainable goal! Instead, it sends me straight into a panic and I become very overwhelmed. It’s such a big number, but when you break it down into pieces, it’s really not. But there it is, that number, staring me in the face. 10,000 steps. 5 long miles. Once I’ve hit that, I feel I’ve accomplished so much for that day. But then I think, shit, I have to do this all over again tomorrow??? Getting there is such a hard journey, so enter in the overwhelm, and basically lose my nerve and start to break down. It’s the same feeling with lists.
Back to the bucket list. If I don’t do these things, have I really lived a life fulfilled, meaningful, and with purpose? I mean, I have done so much already, It’s not like I haven’t lived out some of my dreams already: like from having children, grandchildren, having a gallery showing of my art, I was a dancer, I was a model, I’ve sung in choirs, I’ve played an instrument, I’ve been married, (not to anyone who was nice to me tho’), and so on. But there’s so much more I feel like I need to do, in order to live with meaning.
A list to me, is just a reminder of all the stuff I’ve accomplished, or all the stuff I haven’t done a damn thing to accomplish yet. At the end of the day, will it really matter anyway? And if it doesn’t, what was the purpose of the list in the first place?
What are your thoughts? Is a bucket list a necessary reminder to accomplish your life’s goals? Do you have one? Do you feel like you’ve lived a live worth living? If not, what’s holding you back?
A Minute with Mama 