Opened Eyes

 

Show of hands. How many of you have friends in different countries? Including my family I have approximately 18. From England, France, Goma, Morocco, Germany, PR, & Spain.  Of those folks, I have met 5 of them in person. The rest I know from social media.  While I may not be an intricate part of their daily lives, I am always intrigued with their culture, and I really hope to meet them all one day, in real life.

As the world gets seemingly more violent, my curiosity of these people grows, especially about my Muslim friends. I worry for all their safety. I pray for them, every day, that they are safe and secure. You can say, that I worry about all of them really, but things just seem to get worse, with each passing moment.

We were asked in church recently, what we would do, if our country was in upheaval. Would we succumb to what the government forces us to do, or would we stand up and fight.  Me, forever worrying about my children, blurted out, “I would be more worried about what my military boys would do, would they be conflicted and hesitate, or carry thru with the orders they were given, because they are military men. A lady sitting next to me, gently reminded me by saying, “That is their path. What would YOU choose to do?” I was dumbfounded. I looked across at the man sitting in front of me, who happens to be from a very tumultuous part of Africa, with a typical American look on my face of, “I don’t know”. I almost felt like, he wanted to hear a better answer from me. (Not that I was trying to impress this man with my answers, by any means).  So, here is this man, who had been wrongly jailed for his beliefs and works of good deeds. He’s seen things I couldn’t even imagine, all because of the corruptness that is his “world”. And here is me, a girl who’s lived, a very sheltered life, considering, with no real thought given to what could potentially happen if things went a totally different way with our own government. I sheepishly looked down, as I was really embarrased that I had no real answer to this question. That was 2 weeks ago.

I know “preparers”.  Do you? They take the time to build up their stock-pile of emergency goods, weapons, bug-out bags, and more. As someone who doesn’t make a lot of money, I know that if any major disaster hit, I would be pretty much screwed. Why? Because I don’t have the financial resources to prepare for an emergency. I live essentially, paycheck to paycheck. As Americans, I believe the mindset is different for emergency situations, than say someone in the Middle East. Over there, their whole life is overturned by bombings, war, hardships, and more. They don’t have the means to be prepared, but yet, they somehow manage to survive. I often wonder how. Americans see these things that are happening everywhere else, and what do they do? Either they take the time to prepare, or live in a huge state of denial. A mass majority of us who don’t have the means to prepare, but are well aware of a potentially desparate situation, are freaking out.

My answer to the question in church? What can I do? I don’t even know where to begin. What are my options? Do they have to be violent? Honestly, I cower in the face of danger, hell I am still traumatized by some of the tough situations I’ve had to endure, which by comparison to what the rest of the world goes thru, is a cake walk.

I can’t help but picture a situation like in the 80’s cult classic movie, Red Dawn. I’d either be shot, or put in a camp. I would become a big ball of jelly in the face of danger. Or…would I? Fight or flight, right? Would I go into protective mode, for the sake of my children, or would I loot a store, grab everything I could get my hands on, and run, screaming into the hills? A person could go crazy just thinking about all of the “what-ifs”.

While I’m thankful I live in a country where war doesn’t happen on our soil very often, or government upheaval isn’t the norm, I can’t help but wonder, how do these people that do live in those types of environments manage to find the strength and courage to fight? What can I do to show my support for the innocent? This question has weighed heavy on me as of late, because I feel like I should be doing something to help. I feel like I need to get my passport, get my shots, travel abroad and make a difference. Or hell….just travel a few states over and help the water warriors protect the land. But what stops me is that, oh yeah. I still have a minor living at home. I have grand children to tend to. But…is that enough? Is that what my purpose is in life? To raise kids and be a safe haven for them, or is it to put on my boots and travel to someplace that I can make a real difference in the world?

The more I talk to my friends abroad, the more my eyes are opened to what really goes on in the world, and I have to say, some of it is quite frightening. I really have led a sheltered life. I don’t want to live this way any more. I want to do something to help others find peace.

I’ll be 42 in March. Why is this significant? Because I feel like I should be further along than what I am. I feel like I should be making more of a difference in the world, but honestly, I don’t feel like I am doing much. To really push this point across, I am constantly reminded of this by an inscription on my bathroom mirror, to ask myself this question, “Am I living a life fulfilled and with meaning? What am I DOING to make a positive difference in the world?”  This question drives me insane, every day. What AM I doing to make a difference? Some days, (okay, a lot of days), I feel like I’m not doing anything at all. But then, I look in the face of my sweet little granddaughter, and see how her eyes light up when she comes in the door, or when I read her a book, or hug her tight, I am making a difference to that one person. I am showing love, and my hope is, that love will be an example for her to show love to others, despite skin colour, religion, sexual preference, etc.

You think I would be content in that, but still…I am feeling a tug, like there’s something more I should be doing. I will continue to pray for those across the globe and in my own backyard, that evil deeds will come to an end, and we can all live in peace and harmony. I will show compassion to those who are different than me. I will let God lead me in my journey on this earth, and pray that in the end, I really did live a life fulfilled and with meaning, and that my journey, was at the very least, an inspiration to one person, if not more.

~Mama

Post Election Thoughts from a “Non-Voter”

Yesterday, I mentioned that I made the conscious decision not to vote. This is my right, as an American citizen.  To recap, I choose not to cast a vote, because I don’t really understand politics, nor to I wish to make a choice based on mis-information, or incomplete information, or information that has been strewn across the media, in such a way that it is more about slandering each opponent, than it is about facts. Instead, I choose to support whatever candidate is elected into office.  I choose to pray for our nation, our people, and our future.

Just because I don’t vote, doesn’t mean I don’t get to feel deep concern for our nation, it doesn’t mean I don’t get to gripe about the choice that was made, not that griping does any good anyway, but sometimes just voicing it feels a little better. And at this point, I am gravely concerned.  My family is a hodge-podge mix of people of colour, race, religion, sexual orientation, etc. How will this affect them? How will they be treated now that (for all intents and purposes), a bully has been elected into office?

I believe, that if he sticks to his plans of making ‘murica great again, and doesn’t bash people in the process, then I’m okay with that. He has a duty right now, to provide leadership in an already screwed up world. Like a parent to a child, he needs to provide us some sort of comfort, and set a good example. (Be a light of hope, and not a wind to extinguish the candle).

All I will say at this point is, I am pretty shocked, like the rest of the world. I am spending a lot of time in thought, prayer, and meditation for not only our country, but all of the nations of the world. I pray that those nations, don’t judge all Americans, based on this one person. We aren’t all like this.

I intend to fill my social media sites, with positives, love, hope, and peace. I plan to show love to every person I meet. I plan to be kind, and set a good example for my children, my grandchildren, and any youngster I come across. To me, it’s more important to show love and respect, and show just how much it can make a difference, instead of focusing on how being a bully can seemingly get you what you want.

I hope you do the same.